


Special Delivery

by spuffyduds



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Ensemble - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-04
Updated: 2010-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-05 18:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds/pseuds/spuffyduds





	Special Delivery

When Wes answers the nighttime knock on the Hyperion door, he's expecting a delivery--either the latest stack of books from mustytomes.com, or a Girl Scout with his Samoans.

Instead there's a five-foot-tall aquarium, blocking their front door.

And there's a mermaid in it.

He stands there speechless for a moment. Partly he's surprised, and partly—-well. She's naked. And the dreamy bobbing of her breasts as she swims is…erotic. Er, hypnotic.

Finally he manages a small, "Oh, my." Apparently it was a frightened sound because Fred, Gunn and Angel sprint across the lobby, yelling "WHAT?!?" and when they reach the door Gunn has his axe and Fred's holding the stun gun she's been trying to jury-rig to work on creatures troll-size and up, and Angel's in full fang-face.

"What the—-whoah," Gunn says, and they just stare for a while as she swirls, circles, swishes her tail, ignores them entirely.

"Who would…drop off…that?" Wes says.

"Maybe," Fred says, "People get 'em when they're little and they…get too expensive to feed? Or, uh…to chum?"

"She's just—-beautiful," Gunn says, and he can't help it, she's one flexing perfect muscle, the shifting blue-green-purple of an oilslick in a puddle, lovely, and he reaches out to touch her.

*********************************

Lorne's stepping out of the elevator and sees the whole tableau, framed in the front doors, and screams "NO!" and runs.

But he's too late, because Gunn's hand breaks the surface of the water and the mermaid opens her mouth which isn't so much mouth as _maw_, a circle of wicked curved fangs, and one flick of her tail powers her up out of the water and she's got her teeth in Gunn's arm.

_BZZZAAAAAAAZZZT_.

When the water's stopped flashing and sparking they all turn to stare at Fred.

"Dang, girl," Gunn says, cradling his bleeding arm. "Thanks. And remind me not to piss you off."

"It was an accident!" Fred wails. "I didn't mean to drop it IN there."

"Best thing you could have done," Lorne says. "Judgment so not my thing, but—-mermaids? Not nice."

They all contemplate the floating fried thing in the tank. Finally, Angel says, "Wow. The smell is—-dumpster behind the Red Lobster. In August."

Heads swivel toward him.

"What?" he says. "When you're eating rats, you go where the rats are."

"So," Fred says, "What are we gonna do with her…it…thing?"

"Just throw her down the sewer," Lorne says, and shrugs at their horrified faces. "Hey, the giant alligators have to eat something."


End file.
